2022 you were a rollercoaster....
2022 was a lot.
At the beginning of 2022 we welcomed Storm at 36 weeks. He came into this world on a stormy winters morning. Luke had just gotten off nights and I called him and said yep it's time. I feel he was barely awake the entire car ride to the hospital and add a nasty storm on top - scary drive for me lol. Storm came before 10am via csection. Before my csection I said to my midwife Sarah that I’m going to plan that he will be sick like River. He was going to be taken away from me and I won’t be able to hold him. I said I’d rather prepare for that then not.
Right before this picture was taken Sarah came to me with Storm.
Me in shock : “really?”
Sarah with smiling eyes : “really!”
And she handed me him and I got to hold my healthy baby something I didn’t get with River.
I was so relieved.
Still get chills from it ❤️
After Storm was born I was declared covid positive from PCR. We then kept River away for 7 days to prevent him from passing on to Storm. We both masked for 5 days at home to help prevent spreading it to him.
River arrived back home and life carried on. Shortly after Storms birth the baby blues hit and they hit HARD. Full force. Crying so much crying.
Then it was time of the blues to end. But they didn't. I still felt so sad and I didn't know why. I thankfully had a wonderful relationship with my midwife Sarah and she was like yaaaa this is more than just baby blues. She hooked me up with an amazing therapist who I have been with since! Forever grateful to have had the postpartum care I did with my midwife because I feel my postpartum would have totally gone unnoticed. Hands down 6 weeks of postpartum visits should be normal for all birthing humans in my opinion.
At this time I was feeling all the feels about being adopted. I matched with my bio sis or who I thought was years ago, but never felt the push to message her. I think fear of rejection was a huge issue. What if she wanted nothing to do with me? It's a lot to accept, but also something I had to prepare myself for. Finally, Luke and my therapist said "what is there to lose?" She either wants a relationship or she doesn't, but you will never know until you try.
SO. I messaged her. A few days past and nothing. BUT then finally she messaged me back! I was SHOOK. She has already been in connection with our bio mom. I literally had my family tree in front of me. After some more communication I found out some super valuable information. I am so glad that I finally took the leap to send a message. I'm so happy to have my family in my life. I have so many unanswered questions answered. I think unless you are someone who's adopted you will never understand Family reunification.
I have continued a relationship with them and so excited to see what the future has in store for us. 2022. You were scary and you were amazing. Through postpartum and trauma I was able to push myself to do things I had always wished to do.
2022 brought therapy and working on myself. I think my trauma will forever shape who I am no questions there, however learning how to cope has been so so so beneficial.
2022 brought Storm; he's the sweetest and we are so happy to have him in our lives <3
2022 brought new connections - through social media and reunification.
I'm happy to say goodbye to 2022 - but also celebrating what came from the year. Excited to see what 2023 brings <3